Day Nine

There is a building on this fair campus known as the Rec.  This is the building that all students refer to quite often.  It is, apparently, a magical place. 

Now, of course, I myself have not seen any of this magic.  I have only heard of it from others.  They use it as if mere mention of this building has meaning beyond what is normally invested in a building.

It’s used by guys: “Yeah.  I’ve been going to the Rec.” Also generally accompanied by a flex.

It’s used by girls: “Just got back from the Rec! #fitness #workingout #abs”

It’s even used by squirrels. “Squeekatisqueek squeek squeekers.”  (Yes, I do speak squirrel)

What is the power of this mention?  How is it that if the recipient to this phrase cannot also say he, or she, or it, has been to the Rec, there is a feeling of failure and possible weakness?

To investigate this phenomenon, I decided to venture into this legen—wait for it—dary building myself.

Upon immediate entry, nothing outstanding met my eyes.  But then this was only the lobby.  One could not expect anything more than a few sweaty guys with bulging arm muscles.

I move on into the weight room.  Nothing spectacular there either.  A lot of machines, a lot of dudes, a few girls.  There was a commotion over by one of the bench presses, so I made my way over.  It was a rather large fellow pressing, or rather attempting to press, 500 pounds.  He completed one, much to the delight of his friends.  I reached over, did the same with one hand and walked away.  As I said, nothing spectacular to see there.

I then made my way into the gym where there were numerous games of basketball going on.  I thought that perhaps there might be something extraordinary here, however I was disappointed.  So I slammed a few in and continued on my way.

Upstairs I found a track.  There were a few runners going around and I joined them.  Again they were sadly lacking.  I lapped each of them at least five times before leaving.  Also upstairs I found a few racquet ball courts.  I grabbed a racquet and proceeded to demolish a player in a game, 15-0. 

I had begun to notice a silence that followed me every time I left an area, but nothing else in any way stood up to the reputation of this place. 

Downstairs in the basement I found the game room with pool, shuffle board, foosball, and ping pong.  All wonderful games that apparently no one other than myself had any skill at. It took me all of five minutes to defeat any comers. 

I left the building feeling completely justified in my opinion.  The Rec has no magical properties and the activities contained therein, while entertaining, serve no practical purpose.