Read and You'll Find Something

Tonight is one of those nights.  You know, the kind of night where you feel like writing about absolutely nothing with no point whatsoever and sounding ever so sophisticated in the process.  I’m sure you’ve had the feeling.  It’s universal, right? 

Whether it’s universal or not is, however, beside the sophisticated point I’m making.  A point that has great importance to the topic at hand.  I mentioned a topic, didn’t I?  I didn’t?  Oh dear.  If I’ve already written this much without a specified topic, the rest of this post is in grave danger. 

Oh wait, I remember.  I do have a have a topic, and don’t worry, it is a very sophisticated and intelligent and economically ethical topic.  I have no idea where those last two descriptive words came from, but I thought of them as I was preparing to put the period on the end of the sentence, so I included them in order to make it sound better, while in reality it simply lengthened the sentence that had no need of being lengthened any more than it already was. 

Pretty sure I made a couple comma splices—or some other fancy term relating to commas and full sentences—in that last sentence. But nobody cares about that right now.  Why?  Because topic!  That’s right, I have one!  You wanna guess what it is?  No, of course you don’t.  You’re the reader.  I’m supposed to tell you everything right off the bat.  There’s not supposed to be all this indecision and inner author dialogue between me and myself. 

This, however, is a special post indeed.  It is a post in which I shall do whatever the crap I want because I can.  And I will do it in such a way that it sounds intelligent and not at all like some rambling lunatic with a keyboard.  Because if you could hear the music I’m listening to right now, that’s exactly what you would think.  It’s probably what you think anyway, but then I can’t tell you what you’re thinking because I’m simply the writer of this post.  I don’t know what you’re thinking, nor do I know what I’m thinking.  Thoughts are coming and going rather quickly at the moment, so it’s a bit mixed up in this brain.  In a couple minutes it’ll probably explode in a bright and colorful display of shimmering glory.  Because brains are glorious and filled with glitter.  Well, that one vampire from that one lame book series has a brain full of glitter, but nowhere near as full a brain as his girl’s brain.

I am not going to tarnish this post with any further mention of those two individuals.  They disgust me and should be abolished from what is considered literature.  In fact, in my definition of what is literature that series does not qualify.  Therefore, it is not literature. 

Wow.  Okay then.  That was a lot easier than everyone made it out to be.  They’re always complaining and saying the books should be burned and blah blah blah, when the solution has been in front of their noses the whole time.  I’m a genius.  I always knew it, but it’s nice to have it reinforced every now and then.  You’re welcome.

Oh hey, guess what?  You don’t want to guess?  Gosh darn it, you aren’t a cooperative reader.  I mean seriously, it’s not nice.  You should take a class in manners, because your mother clearly skipped over that part of your education.  Why yes, I did just go there.  What are you gonna do about it?  Oh, okay, well, if you’re going to get nasty I’ll take it back.  That’s right.  I’m a nice guy and want to prevent our world from succumbing to…dang it.  I lost my train of thought.  I couldn’t spell the word succumb and it took a few minutes before I could get it close enough for spell check to be able to find the right word.  I hate it when that happens.  It was a really good point too.  Stupid spell check needs to be smarter and more tech savvy, whatever that means.

Dude.  Check it out.  I have discovered the topic/purpose/point/slash of this post.  You want to know?  That one was rhetorical, shut up. 

The point of this post is to demonstrate that I have discovered the fact that I can begin a post with no point or purpose and continue to write two partially coherent pages, even though they may be completely useless.  This constitutes as something I have learned as an experience outside of the classroom.  It is a most valuable experience that will serve me well throughout the rest of my living days. 

Thank you for your time, your patience, and your cooperation.  Or lack thereof.